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@ asyncmind
2025-06-14 06:58:17
🧓🌀 The Quantum Boomer Returns
https://image.nostr.build/075969154fc300655f8f04f389c89fcb84253b78b657d37e110b7df33ce2298c.jpg
— a satirical blast from the cryptographic past —
> "Back in my day, son, we used to fear real things — like Quantum Computers. None of this 'AI alignment' gibberish. You know what real terror looked like? A man with a slide deck from 1997 yelling about Shor’s Algorithm and holding up a floppy disk labeled ‘The One Hack to Hack Them All.’"
> “Just one cert, Jimmy!” he’d shout. “Crack one TLS cert and the banks fall like dominoes! Your encrypted nudes? Public. Your fiat savings? Gone. It was gonna be glorious…”
> And every cycle, without fail, he’d crawl out of his digital bunker to warn the youth of the impending TLS Rapture:
“JUST ONE CERT, KID. JUST ONE. THAT’S ALL IT TAKES.”
> But Bitcoin came along and the world moved on… until now.
Because guess what, kid? He’s back.
And this time… he’s got 2 qubits.
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🪙 "Fiat is encrypted. Bitcoin is verified."
🔐 Don’t wait for the cert to crack.
#QuantumBoomer #TLSCollapse #OneHackToHackThemAll #CryptoSatire #ShorsAlgorithm #PostQuantumFUD #BoomerDoomer #QuantumPanic #RetroCyberParanoia #BitcoinImmunity #CryptoTheatre #InfosecMeme #TLSDoomsday #DigitalBunkerLore #QuantumFiction