@ noahrevoy

Most people think being a good parent means giving your kids a happy childhood. That’s only part of the story. The deeper purpose, the one that really matters, is this:

You’re not just raising kids. You’re raising the parents of your future grandchildren.

That means your job isn’t done when your kids grow up. It’s done when they can raise strong, healthy, wise children of their own, just like you’re trying to do now. That’s the real test of parenting: Can your children carry what you’ve taught them into the next generation?

Some people think the job ends at 18, that you feed them, house them, send them to school, and once they hit legal adulthood, it’s time to throw them to the wolves and hope they figure it out. But that mindset leaves too many young adults unprepared, unsupported, and unequipped to build strong families of their own. And the cycle of weak parenting repeats.

What Does Raising Future Parents Mean?

It means both mothers and fathers have special, essential roles that children desperately need. When one is missing or not doing their part, the child carries that hole with them for life.

Fathers are there to protect, provide, set limits, and prepare their children to face the real world with strength and responsibility. Kids need their dads to teach them that actions have consequences, and beyond that, to model how to take calculated risks, face challenges, and build long-term vision. Fathers help children think in terms of consequences that play out over time, rather than just the immediate moment. They show how courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to manage it. They also help children set boundaries in relationships, teaching when to say no, when to stand firm, and how to protect their own dignity and values.

Mothers are there to connect, comfort, and teach children how to feel safe, loved, and secure. Kids need their moms to help them understand emotions, build trust, and feel rooted in their identity and belonging. Mothers specialize in short-term care: emotional presence, daily rhythms, and quick responsiveness. They teach the child to value intimacy, emotional expression, and the importance of staying close when vulnerable.

Both roles are essential, though they apply differently over time. Mothers and fathers serve completely different functions, especially as children grow. Younger children tend to need more nurture, emotional grounding, and daily rhythm. That’s typically provided by the mother. As they grow, they increasingly need structure, responsibility, and preparation for the external world. That’s typically provided by the father. When both roles are fulfilled, children develop the full range of strengths they need to become capable, resilient adults. And future parents themselves.

What Does It Take?

To be the kind of parent who raises great parents, you need:

• Consistency: Your kids don’t need perfect, they need stable, clear, and reliable.

• Teamwork: Parenting is not a competition between mom and dad. It’s a partnership, and the child suffers when the adults fight or undermine each other.

• Growth: Keep learning. No one gets it all right at first. But if you keep improving, your children will too.

• Vision: Always keep the long game in mind. Every bedtime routine, every dinner conversation, every hard talk, it all shapes the kind of parent your child will become someday. When you hold all four, consistency, teamwork, growth, and vision, you give your child the best chance not just to thrive, but to raise strong children of their own.

• A System: You need a framework to guide your parenting. For some, that’s a religious tradition. For others, it’s an ethical philosophy, or a mix of both. You can’t reinvent everything from scratch. Adopt a proven system that fits your values, culture, and life situation, and use it to stay grounded when things get hard.

Why It Matters

I’ve been happily married for over two decades, and it’s likely I’ll never need to search for a spouse again. But I have sons, one of whom is just a few years away from being interested in girls and starting to date, with younger brothers following soon behind. That means the state of the dating and marriage culture matters deeply to me.

As a father, I’m intentional about who we spend time with. I make sure my sons are around families who are raising their daughters right, families with feminine, kind-hearted mothers and strong, masculine fathers. These are the kinds of men I want to spend time with anyway. These are also the kinds of girls I want my sons to someday meet, young women being raised to be wives and mothers, just as I raise my sons to be husbands and fathers.

It’s easy to think that once we’re out of the dating world, it no longer matters what happens to it. But if you have children or grandchildren, the social and sexual culture around you is still incredibly relevant. As parents, we shape it, not just through what we teach, but through who we associate with, what kind of marriage we model, and what values we embody; that influence matters.

Helping your children find good spouses, by helping them become good spouses, is one of your responsibilities as a parent, raising future parents is part of the job.

We live in a world where too many people don’t know how to be good parents, because they never had the example.

Even some of our ancestors who got parenting right didn’t always understand why their methods worked, they were simply following what had been done before them. But that made those traditions fragile. When anti-family messaging, selfish individualism, and pop culture began eroding those norms in the mid-20th century, people didn’t know how to defend or adapt what they had inherited. The result was generational collapse. Beginning with the Boomers, many parents simply stopped passing on core values, not because they were malicious, but because they didn’t know how to. That number has only grown with each passing generation. That’s not your fault. But it is your job to break that cycle.

If you weren’t raised right yourself, you’re not alone. Many of us carry wounds from our own childhoods: gaps, hurts, or confusion about what love, safety, or responsibility really looks like. Here’s the truth: even if you're functioning well in life, holding a job, maintaining relationships, managing responsibilities, there may still be pieces missing inside you if you weren’t fully fathered or mothered.

Those missing parts often stay quiet until parenting brings them to the surface. Suddenly, your child needs something you never received, and you’re left feeling unsure, exposed, even embarrassed.

That experience doesn’t make you broken. It makes you normal. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing and reaching the edge of what you were taught. The truth is, most of us don’t grow until life demands it. And becoming a parent demands it.

Feeling unprepared in those moments is common. But it’s also an invitation. An invitation to re-parent yourself while you parent your child. To become the parent you needed, and in doing so, become the parent your child needs now.

And yes, it can be deeply humbling to feel competent in so many areas of life, but suddenly helpless in your own emotional regulation, your marriage, or your relationship with your kids. But reaching out for help in those areas isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re doing the real work. It’s a mark of strength. The best parents aren’t the ones who think they’ve got it all figured out. They’re often the ones doing the most damage. The best parents are the ones who are learning, adapting, and trying every day to get better.

That’s the path. You don’t need to have every issue resolved before you begin, just stay a little ahead of your child’s needs. That’s enough. That’s parenting.

That’s why this generation has to do something different. We have to not only do better, and understand why it works, so we can teach it. Parenting can’t just be instinct. It must become conscious, deliberate, and transmittable. One simple way to start is by taking notes. Literally. Write down what works, what doesn't, what you learn from others, and what you discover through experience. Especially note the principles behind why something works. Then pass those notes on to your children when the time comes. This is how we rebuild the chain of wisdom, so they don’t have to start from scratch like so many of us did.

Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about constant growth.

If you’re stuck, don’t wait. Send me a message. Tell me what’s going on. If it’s simple, I’ll point you to something I’ve already written, or I’ll write a new post about it. If it’s more complex, we can set up a time to talk. Either way, I’ll protect your privacy, and I’ll help. That’s what I’m here for.

If we want strong communities, healthy families, and a better world for our grandchildren, it starts with us, right now, with how we raise our children today.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be intentional. Because when you’re parenting with the next generation in mind, you’re not just raising a child. You’re raising the parents of your grandchildren. That’s the legacy you’re building.Most people think being a good parent means giving your kids a happy childhood. That’s only part of the story. The deeper purpose, the one that really matters, is this:

You’re not just raising kids. You’re raising the parents of your future grandchildren.

That means your job isn’t done when your kids grow up. It’s done when they can raise strong, healthy, wise children of their own, just like you’re trying to do now. That’s the real test of parenting: Can your children carry what you’ve taught them into the next generation?

Some people think the job ends at 18, that you feed them, house them, send them to school, and once they hit legal adulthood, it’s time to throw them to the wolves and hope they figure it out. But that mindset leaves too many young adults unprepared, unsupported, and unequipped to build strong families of their own. And the cycle of weak parenting repeats.

What Does Raising Future Parents Mean?

It means both mothers and fathers have special, essential roles that children desperately need. When one is missing, or not doing their part, the child carries that hole with them for life.

Fathers are there to protect, provide, set limits, and prepare their children to face the real world with strength and responsibility. Kids need their dads to teach them that actions have consequences, and beyond that, to model how to take calculated risks, face challenges, and build long-term vision. Fathers help children think in terms of consequences that play out over time, rather than just the immediate moment. They show how courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to manage it. They also help children set boundaries in relationships, teaching when to say no, when to stand firm, and how to protect their own dignity and values.

Mothers are there to connect, comfort, and teach children how to feel safe, loved, and secure. Kids need their moms to help them understand emotions, build trust, and feel rooted in their identity and belonging. Mothers specialize in short-term care: emotional presence, daily rhythms, and quick responsiveness. They teach the child to value intimacy, emotional expression, and the importance of staying close when vulnerable.

Both roles are essential, though they apply differently over time. Mothers and fathers serve completely different functions, especially as children grow. Younger children tend to need more nurture, emotional grounding, and daily rhythm, typically provided by the mother. As they grow, they increasingly need structure, responsibility, and preparation for the external world, typically provided by the father. When both roles are fulfilled, children develop the full range of strengths they need to become capable, resilient adults,and future parents themselves.

What Does It Take?

To be the kind of parent who raises great parents, you need:

• Consistency: Your kids don’t need perfect, they need stable, clear, and reliable.

• Teamwork: Parenting is not a competition between mom and dad. It’s a partnership, and the child suffers when the adults fight or undermine each other.

• Growth: Keep learning. No one gets it all right at first. But if you keep improving, your children will too.

• Vision: Always keep the long game in mind. Every bedtime routine, every dinner conversation, every hard talk, it all shapes the kind of parent your child will become someday. When you hold all four, consistency, teamwork, growth, and vision, you give your child the best chance not just to thrive, but to raise strong children of their own.

• A System: You need a framework to guide your parenting. For some, that’s a religious tradition. For others, it’s an ethical philosophy, or a mix of both. You can’t reinvent everything from scratch. Adopt a proven system that fits your values, culture, and life situation, and use it to stay grounded when things get hard.

Why It Matters

I’ve been happily married for over two decades, and it’s likely I’ll never need to search for a spouse again. But I have sons, one of whom is just a few years away from being interested in girls and starting to date, with younger brothers following soon behind. That means the state of the dating and marriage culture matters deeply to me.

As a father, I’m intentional about who we spend time with. I make sure my sons are around families who are raising their daughters right, families with feminine, kind-hearted mothers and strong, masculine fathers. These are the kinds of men I want to spend time with anyway. These are also the kinds of girls I want my sons to someday meet, young women being raised to be wives and mothers, just as I raise my sons to be husbands and fathers.

It’s easy to think that once we’re out of the dating world, it no longer matters what happens to it. But if you have children or grandchildren, the social and sexual culture around you is still incredibly relevant. As parents, we shape it, not just through what we teach, but through who we associate with, what kind of marriage we model, and what values we embody. That influence matters.

Helping your children find good spouses, by helping them become good spouses, is one of your responsibilities as a parent. That’s part of raising future parents.

We live in a world where too many people don’t know how to be good parents, because they never had the example.

Even some of our ancestors who got parenting right didn’t always understand why their methods worked, they were simply following what had been done before them. But that made those traditions fragile. When anti-family messaging, selfish individualism, and pop culture began eroding those norms in the mid-20th century, people didn’t know how to defend or adapt what they had inherited. The result was generational collapse. Beginning with the Boomers, many parents simply stopped passing on core values—not because they were malicious, but because they didn’t know how to. That number has only grown with each passing generation. That’s not your fault. But it is your job to break that cycle.

If you weren’t raised right yourself, you’re not alone. Many of us carry wounds from our own childhoods, gaps, hurts, or confusion about what love, safety, or responsibility really looks like. Here’s the truth: even if you're functioning well in life, holding a job, maintaining relationships, managing responsibilities, there may still be pieces missing inside you if you weren’t fully fathered or mothered.

Those missing parts often stay quiet until parenting brings them to the surface. Suddenly, your child needs something you never received, and you’re left feeling unsure, exposed, even embarrassed.

That experience doesn’t make you broken. It makes you normal. It doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re growing and hitting the limits of your knowlege. The truth is, most of us don’t grow until life demands it. And becoming a parent demands it.

Feeling unprepared in those moments is common, but it’s also an invitation. An invitation to re-parent yourself while you parent your child. To become the parent you needed, and in doing so, become the parent your child needs now.

And yes, it can be deeply humbling to feel competent in so many areas of life—but suddenly helpless in your own emotional regulation, your marriage, or your relationship with your kids. But reaching out for help in those areas isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re doing the real work. It’s a mark of strength. The best parents aren’t the ones who think they’ve got it all figured out, they’re often the ones doing the most damage. The best parents are the ones who are learning, adapting, and trying every day to get better.

That’s the path. You don’t need to have every issue resolved before you begin, just stay a little ahead of your child’s needs. That’s enough. That’s parenting.

That’s why this generation has to do something different. We have to not only do better, but understand why it works, so we can teach it. Parenting can’t just be instinct. It must become conscious, deliberate, and transmittable. One simple way to start is by taking notes, literally. Write down what works, what doesn't, what you learn from others, and what you discover through experience. Especially note the principles behind why something works. Then pass those notes on to your children when the time comes. This is how we rebuild the chain of wisdom, so they don’t have to start from scratch like so many of us did.

Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about constant growth.

If you’re stuck, don’t wait. Send me a message. Tell me what’s going on. If it’s simple, I’ll point you to something I’ve already written, or I’ll write a new post about it. If it’s more complex, we can set up a time to talk. Either way, I’ll protect your privacy, and I’ll help. That’s what I’m here for.

If we want strong communities, healthy families, and a better world for our grandchildren, it starts with us, right now, with how we raise our children today.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be intentional. Because when you’re parenting with the next generation in mind, you’re not just raising a child. You’re building a legacy.