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@ Zyolluax
2025-05-05 16:32:09"This is Mineva Bytes. The crypto eidolon! A vtuber who has risen to become a shining star in the crypto world. She's the most followed person on Trenches, eclipsing every single crypto founder/influencer."
Dozens of images flash across the screen, each depicting a golden idol. Her golden amber hair and eyes seem to perfectly capture the color of cryptocurrency. She's wearing her standard cream Kaybug outfit, which gives off a weird futuristic vibe every time she's next to something modern. A close-up of her boob window with 2 metal coins, one for Bitcoin and the other for Cerium tucked into her cleavage makes up her header on Trenches.
"Her fan base, the Gabros, are made up of elite cretins who are eager to get anything she's a part of. Hell, she even got them to pay for cable to support her show. Cable! In 2025! Even a collab announcement between her and Xaphan got millions of views in just a few hours. Her endorsement is a godsend for any crypto project."
Even more images flash through her show moonshot. One is Mineva promoting the Sloth NFT with a picture of a dopey looking sloth next to her. Another is the announcement of the Cache Card during the On-Chain holiday, which boosted pre-order numbers. A picture of her posing like a pin-up model on an American Unlimited debit card, and finally her name and Xaphan's in the middle of a phone silhouette.
"And that's where you come in."
The images are replaced by the words Atoms.AI, made up of clouds with the sun dotting the i. Our company logo, and standing in front of it is my boss. The gray-haired woman in techwear is pointing her claw-like nails at me. She has the kind of intimidating aura you would expect from a Wall Street CEO twice her age. Quite different from when she interviewed me and quite unusual in the crypto scene.
"If you can get her to sign off on us using her IP for an AI Agent. To the moon! That's where we're going."
Another picture of Mineva showing off her toothy smile is plastered on the wall. The bright smile highlights her warm peach skin. The rays of joy emanating from her make my stomach turn. Too much optimism for me, but I couldn't help but stare. I stared a little too long, though, and my boss got suspicious.
"What? Are you a fan of hers?"
I shake my head in disapproval.
"No, I'm not a fan. I am a vtuber fan though. I'm a diehard..."
The boss holds up her hand and cuts me off. Obviously not interested in my words. Her attention is focused on checking financial charts on her phone.
"Where is this going?"
I freeze, not knowing what to do next. Shilling my Oshi isn't the right thing to do right now. I look at the picture of Mineva again. This is a solid plan on paper. Improving a vtuber's connection to her community is great, but. A question pops up in the back of my mind. Would I be okay with talking to an AI instead of my Oshi? If this is in my mind now, imagine what the gabros would think of this announcement? I exhale and bring up a glaring issue that I think the boss is overlooking.
"Um. Do you think fans of Mineva would go for an AI agent?"
She puts down her phone and gives me her full attention.
"Do you hear yourself? What loser wouldn't want to talk to their goddess 24/7?"
"The word is actually Oshi Mam."
The boss's purple eyes send daggers through me. I struggle to catch my breath. The pressure of her aura is overwhelming.
"Look are you not a good capitalist?"
"I am Mam. I love capitalism. However, I'm just trying to point out that - "
"Then enough yapping and Art of the Deal this shit!"
Her voice causes all the coders in the building to straighten up. I give her a salute among the rising tide of keyboard clicks.
"Yes, Ms Elira!"
Dysnomia, the crypto capital. A new city created as a symbolic gesture to decouple the cryptocurrency market from Wall Street. Although it still remained in New York, many founders decided to set up shop there. Turning it into a true crypto paradise. With its neon lights displaying all the new crypto brands on new skyscrapers, it resembles something out of a cyberpunk movie. A helpful tip if you plan to visit: It helps to wear some kind of sunglasses. The neon lights tend to give me a headache.
I am struggling to get my barrings. I just moved here last week after being hired by Atmos.AI. A dream job to help advance fintech, but I didn't think my first big assignment would be this important. I make my way to the meeting place. A small diner next to Airdrop Square. As the name suggests, it's a place in the middle of the city where people go to get NFT coupons for food, clothing or transportation.
Good for promotion, but a lot of complaints arise when the coupons expire too quickly. It's a little after one, so the noon drop has already happened, meaning there's not a lot of people around the diner. No big crowds and a semi-public location equals a perfect place to meet a vtuber. At least that's what the boss said when she picked the location.
The diner itself has an almost retro look in comparison to the surrounding buildings. It is made out of a shipping crate and designed to look like a mobile business. The chrome finish of the diner would be almost blinding if the sun shone directly on it. I quickly make my way inside. I sit down in a booth two booths away from the entrance. It would be unprofessional to have the meeting at the counter. After all, eye contact is important when negotiating big deals like this.
It doesn't take long after my arrival for Mineva to show up. She signals that it's her with a little wave. She's radically different from my expectations. She is[Description is redacted to prevent doxxing. For now, just use the previously mentioned description of Mineva.]
She slides into the booth and places a small object on the table. It is a miniature version of Gabro's mascot. A Parrie dog in a suit holding a pickaxe in front of it. She taps its head, causing its eyes to glow gold.
"What's that?"
"A signal jammer. Just in case you try to livestream this. Oh, and don't bother trying to take a picture."
She pushes up the glasses she is wearing.
"These bad boys block my face from showing up in photos."
We sit in silence. I am stunned by the lengths she would go to hide her identity. It makes sense, but I feel like a signal jammer is a bit much. The silence breaks as the waitress comes to our booth.
"Ready to order?"
"Yes! 6 pieces of thick-cut bacon with steamed mushrooms. One cider. And a slice of apple pie!"
They both look at me. Forcing me to hurry up and place my order.
"Um. Grilled chicken salad with apple juice."
Our food comes out after a short time. The size of the bacon she ordered is massive. Almost five times thicker than an average piece of bacon. Can she really eat six of them? A bright smile appears on her face as she cuts through her food. She basks in pleasure after taking a bite of the bacon.
"Glad some Americana made it to Dysnomia."
She continues to eat. I try to make a dent in my salad. Eating has calmed my nerves a bit. With every bite, I rehearse in my head. What I'm going to say. It has to be clear and concise. Will I be too formal with my tone? I can't be too casual. Should I use crypto-slang? That might be accessible. The thoughts continue until the sound of knuckles tapping on the table breaks my concentration. Mineva looks at me as she drinks her cider.
"So what does Atmos want?"
I take a deep breath, making sure to maintain eye contact.
"We have an amazing opportunity to improve the connection between you and the gabros. An AI agent of you would be a perfect way for the gabros to communicate with you when you're not streaming or shooting Moonshot. A seamless way to deepen their connection with you. No additional app required, by the way. It can all happen on Trenches. Oh! Not to mention the new financial opportunities AI Mineva can help them find! Expert level trades that would make any cretin jealous. Which means more Akasupas and memberships for you!"
I was so distracted by my pitch that I didn't even see Mineva clear her plate. She remains silent for a moment, playing with the piece of pie. Her face darkens when she stops playing with it. She slowly takes a bite of the pie while squinting her eyes. It's obvious that her suspicions are growing. I try to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.
"So what do you think?"
"Do I have any say in what the bot recommends?"
Okay, that's a fair question.
"Of course, you can sign off on trades before they happen!"
"Now, how would that happen? If the bot is made to chat with the gabros when I'm busy? Unless you are saying you can manipulate the suggestions the bot recommends?"
The feeling of déjà vu that hits me with each of her questions is like a knife in my stomach. I screwed up. I didn't think it was a gotcha question.
"W. W-what. No, that's not"
"So answer me, how do I sign off on referrals?"
A final stab completely shuts me down. Why on earth did I say she could do that? She finishes her pie and slides out of the booth.
"You're not going to rug my gabros that easily."
She walks to the entrance, not even turning to look at me. As the doorbell rang, she said her last words.
"And thanks for lunch!"
Then she is gone. It takes a moment for the words to register, but it hits me all at once when the waitress hands me the check.
"$150!!"
The waitress shrugs. I hand her my company card and feel myself slipping off the booth seat. As I drag myself to get my card back, only one thing goes through my mind.
"Ms. Elira is going to kill me."