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@ AnnSofiNovelist
2025-05-08 19:28:31
So many people get in trouble when they don't meet other people's unexpressed expectations.
I don't function lile that. If I haven't asked for what I want, I'm responsible, and it's on me.
Sometimes it can be hard for me to ask, but I have zero expectations for the other person to read my mind. If they happen to react before I figure out how to ask, I express gratitude, but never entitlement, and I don't expect them to do the same again next time, unless we make a deal about it. And even if we've made a deal, and someone misses, they're not in trouble with me.
The thought of being the person someone else is in trouble with feels kinda icky to me.
If we've made a deal relating to a boundary I have and they cross it, I might feel sad or hurt, but even then, I wouldn't think of them being in trouble with me. I'd appreciate if they help clean up the mess, and apologize, but I wouldn't want to hold a grudge against them. If they break it and don't clean it up, I might feel a bit scared around them that they'll do it again, but if I notice that, I'd bring it up and ask for their help, because I believe the best of them, and I don't want to keep a false belief that they'll hurt me unless they make it clear that that's what they'll do.
I seem to be in the minority of people who respond like this, but I'm not sure. How do you react? Do you feel comfortable having people be in trouble with you? Do you expect people to read your mind? If they make a mistake, do you think they did it on purpose? 🤔