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@ 288ebe67:fa8e3f31
2025-05-06 11:52:28A few weeks ago, I ran into an old friend at a coffee shop. We hadn’t spoken in years, and within five minutes, she said something I’ve heard countless times:
“I just feel like I’m so behind.”
Behind who? Behind what?
There’s this idea—quiet, nagging, oddly universal—that we’re all somehow in a race we didn’t sign up for. That we’re supposed to have hit certain milestones by certain ages. That if we’re not married, promoted, rich, settled, happy (and photogenic) by 30 or 40 or pick your poison, then we’ve failed some invisible test.Where did this come from?
Some of it’s cultural, obviously. Social media compresses timelines. You’re 27, doom-scrolling, and suddenly someone from high school just IPO’d their startup and got engaged in Rome. Another just bought a house with a kitchen island the size of a small country. You wonder if you missed a memo.
But beneath that, there’s something deeper. A belief that life is linear. That it should look like a staircase: school, job, marriage, house, kids, success. But real life? It’s a squiggle. A mess. A beautiful disaster.
Here’s the truth: You’re not behind. There’s no schedule. There’s only your path, and the courage it takes to stay on it—even when it looks wildly different from everyone else’s.
I say this as someone who has taken the “scenic route.” I changed careers in my 30s. I moved cities on a hunch. I dropped things that looked great on paper because they felt wrong in my gut. I’ve had seasons of momentum and seasons of stuckness. Both were necessary.
“Catching up” assumes there’s a fixed destination. But what if there isn’t? What if the point isn’t arrival, but presence? Progress that feels real, not performative?
If you need a permission slip to stop comparing, let this be it.
You’re not late. You’re not early.
You’re right on time.