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@ Clay
2024-10-07 04:38:37tl;dr: I am writing these primarily for me, but you are welcome to come along if you wish. I have discovered that writing is the best way for my brain to process my thoughts into something productive. Maybe you'll like what I have to say, maybe not. Either way you are welcome to talk about it with me if you'd like. God bless! Oh, and if you're reading this trying to figure out who I am, that will be the next post.
I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself.
> - C. S. Lewis (1964). “Reflections on the Psalms”*
I have always struggled to form my thoughts into something meaningful at the spur of the moment. I have an unfortunate lack of quick wit, and I have a serious distaste for debate, or any confrontation for that matter. I would not call myself slow in the common sense of the term. Thorough would be a better description. All through school, I hated being called upon during class. I was not uncomfortable because I was unable to keep up; I simply needed more time to formulate my opinion and test it from multiple angles. When I began college, I found a professor that I particularly liked, in part because I do not remember him ever putting me on the spot during class. We never had this conversation, but I believe he could sense that it was my weakness. Not only that, but he gave us an opportunity to express ourselves in a different way: On paper.
I had been assigned papers before, but I had never taken one seriously. They were obstacles standing between me and the weekend, or whatever else I was looking forward to at the time. Dr. Wheelington's papers were somehow different. We had assigned reading due for every class, and with that came a one-page paper consisting of our thoughts on that reading. It turned out that even though I did not always like the reading assignments, I loved writing the papers. They gave me the time I needed to flesh out the topics at hand. Sometimes the topics excited me, and I was able to take my thoughts in all new directions, places I had never been before. Sometimes I ranted for the whole page about one paragraph in the reading. However I felt about the content of the reading assignment, I was encouraged to think at length, rather than shut down and expected to make sense of my incomplete thoughts.
Another level of appreciation hit when a group of friends who had Dr. Wheelington for a different class told me that I was mentioned in their class. I will not dwell on it here, but in short, I was told that he mentioned how quiet and reserved I am when in person, but when I am asked to write, everything changes. This made clear to me that not only did Dr. Wheelington actually read his assigned papers, he read and genuinely liked mine. I am sure he did not always agree with me, but he found my written thought to be of substance. I was ecstatic. I had an assignment that I enjoyed because of the way it challenged me and I was apparently good at it.
Fast forward to now, and I find myself about 17 years later. I quit writing as soon as I left school. I always thought I would start again, and never did. I wonder now if the last paper I wrote in school was the last time I thought deeply on a topic. I hope to change that now. I have recently been asked to facilitate a Bible Study class at the church my family has been attending, and now more than ever I need to find in myself the ability to meditate on a topic and prepare my thoughts so I can express them clearly in class each Sunday morning.
That is why this exists. The next post will be about what I believe and why. I feel that is important for starting an endeavor like this one. Then I will start posting about my topics for Sunday morning. They will hopefully come at a pace of more than once a week at first (the Bible Study started several weeks ago now...) until I catch up to the current week.
I already feel better. Here begins something I have needed for a long time.