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@ inpc
2025-03-03 13:33:46It’s now been a full week without prescribed drugs for being a spaz. The last week was tough to be honest, sleepless nights, constantly restless and uncomfortable, nausea, diarrhoea, headaches. Not dissimilar to giving up certain illegal drugs, not quite on a par with opiates but not dissimilar.
The physical symptoms have mostly subsided but I am rather emotionally unstable. I can imagine the Stoics of Nostr being quite stoically unimpressed by these ramblings. Obviously men never have emotions or feelings etc. We only discuss important subjects such as the works of Mises and Rothbard, we have no comprehension of the difference between art and craft, that’s for the women folk. We’re just a plain wallpaper of rational actions buying bitcoin bitcoin bitcoin...
Fuck that lol. I mean cool if that’s you, it’s not me. I started out a spaz and it’ll likely I’ll continue to be a spaz. I’m still trying to improve myself, I lifted some heavy things up and down this morning, eaten a healthy breakfast (although it wasn’t raw meat and salt, sorry) and am about to set about some practice before tonight’s session helping local youngsters with their music. I’ve worked my way through emails and I’m now writing this shit instead of doing some other bollocks. Maybe one day I’ll string a half coherent sentence together and become a V4V billionaire....
Existential dread is a laugh innit? I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. I’ll make more music but it’s pretty futile. The hours of labour vs the financial return is terrible. I find it pretty amusing watching the numbers on my streams drop off in the morning whenever I play any of my own music... Clear market signals if ever I saw them but I stubbornly crack on anyway.
I’m sure at some point, through the process of putting shit on the internet, something will happen that’s of value to someone. Actually I have some nice supporters online which is very much appreciated and, as I said on my stream this morning, I’m grateful the same people come back each day. It’s like the most underground little club on the internet. I have 20 subscribers, no YouTube, X or Meta accounts. No LinkedIn. All is done on the free and open internet, either on a server I own or via some magical relays. So obviously this makes me 10x harder than Mark Zuckerberg, no matter how much Ju Jitsu he does. I’m not riffling through your underwear like a creepy perv.
If anyone reading this is ever wondering why capitalism gets such a bad rep, it’s because some of us are really, really shit at it. But I have a shed, no one’s taking that away from me. My cat is bad ass, I have an amazing wife and the sun is shining. I have a lot to be grateful for. I’ll keep trying to think of ways to earn a coin without selling my soul to the devil. There’s trade offs a plenty but I take responsibility for my own shit and I don’t have to sully myself with corporate bullshit.
Onwards and upwards. It’s a great day!
As Craig David didn’t once sing…
Stopped taking drugs on Monday Sleepless night and shivers on Tuesday We were throwing up by Wednesday And on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we chilled on Sunday